Tuesday, November 12, 2013

The De-Textbook


At last, a collection of the more “serious” gags from Cracked magazine. They’re funny, the way getting kicked in the crotch by a hyperactive six year old is funny, and it pulls no punches. The jokes here are all about history, and while not exactly shocking (I always knew Edison was an ass) they’re somewhat ironic.

The Dark Ages are shown to have been great if you were living in one of the Muslim-controlled parts of the world. While France was “plunged into anarchy,” Muslim Spain was a nation of arts and science. Now that part was left out of the Discovery Channel series, but in this day and age you can’t portray Islam as a religion of peace and stability.

Thomas Edison is treated harshly here, and rightly so, because he is not the hero he’s always shown to be. Edison, the great inventor, whom US schoolchildren are taught to fawn over (myself included), was a thief, a liar, a con man, and a thug. He had his own “patent police” who he’d send out to smash up your workshop if he thought you were ripping off his invention. I need to add here, none of the inventions were his, even the light bulb was invented by someone else, along with the movie camera, the tickertape machine, the vote recorder, etc. He bullied everyone he could into using direct current, setting back US electricity 100 years.

Never, ever, let kids read this book. It will render half the children’s books in the library obsolete. I guess the truth hurts, no?

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