I grew up with relatives who were just like Lucy in The Peanuts comic strip. They would
insult people, shirk their responsibility, and chew people out, but in the end
they always found ways to justify their behavior. Eventually I realized that
the only way out was to avoid them. You can never win an argument with a
narcissist, because they convince themselves that their lying is true.
Dr. Abraham Twersky (MD/PhD) is an interesting character; a
Rabbi and Psychiatrist, specializing in addictions, he’s worked with every
class of addiction you can think of, be it drugs, alcohol, sex, food, rage, or
just plain procrastination. He mentioned in The
Jews of America that he sees the traits of an addict in himself, describing
it as “I’m a procrastinator, I crave instant relief.” His book, and a later one
called Just Waking Up on Time, use the Peanuts comic to illustrate the root of
personality disorder, which he seems to blame for addiction.
One of his examples is the dynamic between Lucy and
Schroeder, who she keeps trying to win over, despite him being as hostile to
her as he can. She keeps convincing herself that everything she does is
someone else’s fault, and has a captive audience. She’ll miss a fly ball
because she’s drawing in the dirt, and when Charlie Brown gets mad, she’ll say,
calmly, “A good coach doesn’t yell at the players.” She goads people into
getting angry so she can criticize them, and it’s a way for her to feel
superior.
Unlike another Rabbi/therapist name Shmuley Boteach, Twersky
doesn’t get as much attention. He’s not a media hound, but he’s a whole lot
smarter. I would love to see him interviewed on TV to discuss addiction and
crime in the USA. It would be great to hear his opinions on sexting, addiction
to electronics, obesity, etc.
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