In 2006, a crazed gunman took an Amish school hostage,
killed the kids, then killed himself. Immediately afterward, the victims’
families called on the killer’s family, offering support. One might ask how
they could be so forgiving, and the answer is that they were taught all their
lives to forgive and move on. They learn, by their elders’ example, not to show
anger or hold grudges. It’s one of the habits that are essential to their
survival.
The point of The Amish is that tradition is the core
of their perseverance and success. Before we go further, please don’t think
that “tradition” is what you see in Fiddler
On the Roof. On the contrary, the opening song Tradition from that musical is really making fun of tradition.
Amish traditions are designed to keep everyone productive and make sure that
they all get along.
I went straight to
the chapter Gender and Family because
it’s exactly what every non-Amish wants to know about. I wanted to know if
their gender roles are rigid, if the men control the women, how the families
interact, etc. The answer I got from reading this great book is as follows;
while the “work” roles are separated, the “social” ones are not. Girls are
taught domestic work, while boys are taught farm skills and craftsmanship, but
if there are no girls around, boys will do the dished, and vice versa. Socially, things aren’t taught as they are
with skills. Boys will be given dolls to play with, and girls will be given toy
trucks (the parents don’t care) and the genders play together without
restriction. It’s also possible, though not mentioned in the book, that the
kids are not influenced by stereotypes. Take the average children’s book
featuring animal characters; the father has a newspaper and a pipe, the
mother does the cooking, little sister wears a pink dress, and the brother
wears sneaker and has a scooter. It’s the same thing in cartoons and kiddie
shows, but without a TV, and a limited number of non-Amish books, the kids won’t
see it. Go into the average liberal household, and you’ll see parents
discouraging thee year old boys from playing with dolls. But with the Amish,
they don’t care. Genders are separated at times, but never segregated.
Like the Native
Americans, Amish women recuse themselves from preparing food during “that time
of the month,” so obviously, the men will have to pitch in for those days that
the wives are out. Assigning heavy chores to boys makes sense, because the men
have greater upper-body strength. By assigning girls to learn cooking, it free
the men to do heavy labor. But that doesn’t mean that the men snap their
fingers when they want things; both genders have to respect each other. I was
reminded of the book Rolling Thunder
(about the Medicine Man of the same name) who argued with some feminists about “sexist”
gender roles. The feminists argued that assigning women to do cooking was chauvinistic,
but Rolling Thunder argued “where you come from, are you allowed three days
vacation every time you menstruate?” The feminists replied “that means she can’t
see her children for three days!” What can you do? Everyone’s entitled to their
ways.
Transgressions-like
unmarried pregnancy or adultery-are punished by “shunning,” which is a form of
temporary excommunication. To the Amish, this is not a punishment, but a way to
avoid bad influences. Native Americans are known to do this if a member of
their tribe violates their rules; in Looking
For Lost Bird, a Navajo family is ordered to leave the reservation, because
their 13 year old son is punching female students on the bus. Like the Amish,
the Navajo used to have a tradition of having boys and girls work apart from
each other, but thanks to modern life, they were thrown together. Some families
can’t reconcile this with modern gender-mixing, and you get trouble. Even in
modern families, shunning can be used, as it is in the New York Times article Angela Whitaker’s Climb (compiled in Class Matters.) In the story, the mother
won’t let her grown children near their siblings out of fear that they’ll be a
bad influence, and her method works. Keeping the kids away from trouble is a major
part of Amish child-rearing, but only in an Amish community could this work. In
Amish life, you don’t have unemployment; the kids are working in some way from
the time they can hold a spoon, so they’re never left without something to do.
On the opposite side, you have single parent families in towns with no jobs.
What will the kids do with their time?
My only fault with
this book is the lack of first-person accounts. The chapter on Rumspringa shows
that the media portrayals and the documentary were greatly exaggerated and sensationalized,
so I would prefer to hear what the individuals have to say. I’ve also read that
the Amish were not happy about the movie Witness,
where Harrison Ford defends his Amish hosts with his fists. Their spokesman was
quoted as “our tradition bars us from filing a lawsuit to keep this movie out
of the theatres.” I would also have like to hear about Edward Gingrich, the
only Amish man ever convicted of murder.
Overall, The Amish is a great book. It’s a tie-in
with the American Experience
documentary, though it will take considerably longer to read this huge volume than
watch the program. The book’s thoroughness is praiseworthy, along with its
unbiased approach. It doesn’t overpraise the Amish, nor does it criticize their
ways. If you’re wondering how traditional societies cope with the modern era,
this book is perfect.
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