Happy Money: The Japanese Art of Making Peace with Your Money by Ken Honda

   Ken Honda, a self-help star in Japan, pulls no punches hen it comes to money woes. Happy money is the term for the money you gain for your own benefit, while unhappy money is gained through a job you hate, or ends up going to your ex-wife and creditors.  Years ago, I read a similar argument in Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad/Poor Dad rag, and while I agree with less than 0.03 of what Kiyosaki says, both he and Honda have a point; you’re not wealthy if someone else has a claim to your money.

    Honda gives good advice on saving. Too often, we feel pressure to buy the latest electronics, and then you have families under pressure to take their children to Disney World, dress them to impress, and spend to impress others. Then there’s the FOMO problem, or Fear Of Missing Out, which I confess to having experienced many times. He recounts an experience where his daughter, with her limited command of English, asks him what her classmates mean by “it’s not fair.” He puts the blame on parents who use the term, as in “it’s not fair that he makes more than me,” or “it’s not fair that I have to pay taxes.” Then the parents will probably use that term every time they have to do something they don’t want, like “it’s not fair that I have to host the Christmas dinner,” or “it’s not fair that I have to pay such a huge share of my parents’ anniversary gift.” The question is, why do the parents do it in the end?

   His advice rests on restraint and differentiation. First off, one needs to have the guts to say no, and ignore the pressure to “keep up with the Joneses.” Secondly, you have to admit the reason you want money. Is it serenity? Do you want security? A comfortable lifestyle? Luxury? Power? Attention? Revenge? These things will make all the difference in how we spend and save. Donald Trump (who I thoroughly dislike) gave on important piece of advice in his book. He says that every marriage must have a prenup, whether you trust your spouse or not. It all makes sense in terms of trust; lack of trust means you need a prenup, and if you trust each other, you won’t be suspicious of a prenup.